trusting

i've been feeling a bit lost lately...like i'm floating around waiting for the wind to blow me in the right direction..searching for...something from god..or maybe meaning for this occasional disorientation...  

and for a person that tends to enjoy having some kind of plan in mind..at least to adhere to..tweak..or even to revamp entirely.. it has made me feel uneasy.. and to be honest i often find myself in this position more often than i would like to admit...i'll have these wonderful meaningful beautiful blissful days..(and have had more serving in this city than ever before)..and then all of a sudden..out of the blue it's as if i wandered into some heavy fog..thrown off balance and questioning things i thought i was so certain of

maybe it's a way for god to remind me who is truly in control when i feel like i know exactly what i'm doing and where i'm going (notice all of those i statements)..and although i completely hate when this happen i always end up with a clearer view...after i've taken a while to let god show me what is in store for me and my life..he has a detailed picture of something so spectacular for all of us that it's a shame that i often struggle to follow his guidance opposed to the flawed sketch i make for myself..

"count your blessings..once you realize how valuable you are..and how much you have going for you..the smiles will return..the sun will break out..the music will play..and you will finally be able to move forward with the life that god intended for you with grace..strength..courage..and confidence" og mandino

peace & love,

jillian